xjwsrock - thanks for sharing your situation. I'm kind of amazed you're able to coast in the way you do if you're an elder, but good for you and I like your reasoning!
Pete Zahut - wow, your experience sounds similar to mine, as I've turned to drinking (sometimes) too and a few other anxiety and stress-relieving things I shouldn't really grow a fondness for. It's encouraring to know it didn't take years for your anxiety and distress to subside, but rather, a week or so. These days I miss an average of 3 of the 8 monthly meetings. I've often wanted to make eye-opening comments during the Watchtower but lack any confidence in public situations nowadays. I already have my own territory card, which has allowed me to do ministry when it suits me and not to have to mix with other J.W's, but people are getting a bit suspicious now and tell me I really need to be out with the group. I've used the depression and anxiety reason in a very genuine way, as I was even hospitalised with it in the recent past, but they say heed the org's advice and pray, study, preach and attend meetings more, which will make me less depressed, as I only feel that way because of Satan and being in a divided home.
Scully - My job is currently a nightmare anyway, with loads of projects going wrong and big deadlines over my head, so I've had to miss meetings because of work anyway - which is 'disappointing' to the congregation, who I guess perceive me as spiritually weak. I have been put on various strong medication over the years but decided to come off all of it because I don't want to damage my body and mind in addition to the damage done to it by the org and want to be fully in control of my own emotions even if they're killing me at the moment, rather than something managing my chemicals for me. Plus I want to be able to have a drink sometimes, which most of my previous meds prevented!
Zyron - you sound in the most similar situation. Your advice about reading on the tablet is good. I might try that. Do you find yourself thinking about the troubling things taught and heard at the meetings once you've gone home and then all throughout the next day? I find it very hard to walk out of the Kingdom Hall and forget about things. They really affect and dominate my mind and even my body.
My husband loves it when I miss meetings, which is understandable, but one thing I didn't mention is that our marriage is on the rocks for a few other strong reasons, which makes life even harder for me at the moment. It's hell, but I know this forum will support me more than the J.W's have tried to do so far.